Why You Won’t Find Me at Burning Man

Neo-tribal bagpipe player with stilt dancer - Burning Man Festival, Black Rock Desert, Nevada

A recent exchange between me (SH) and an artist friend (AF) via text message.

AF: you going to burning man too?

SH: That’s what I don’t have the patience for

Pink two-story bus with men dressed in hot pink fire chaps - Burning Man Festival

If you’re not familiar with Burning Man, here’s how it’s explained in their First Timer’s Guide:

“Once a year, tens of thousands of people gather in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert (also known as “the playa”) to create Black Rock City, a temporary metropolis dedicated to community, art, self-expression, and self-reliance. They depart one week later, having left no trace whatsoever.”

So basically Woodstock meets Etsy meets Mad Max.

Dudes dressed like the Red Hot Chili Peppers on multi-level bikes - Burning Man Festival

There’s a part of me that likes that festivals like this exist. It’s the same part of me that still manages to feel comfortable while dancing at a club. Not quite lecherous, but almost. I’ve been told by friends that I really need to experience Burning Man to understand what it’s about. Some have even called it a life changing experience. But even if it did change your life, you would have to live with the fact that Burning Man was the thing that changed it. And you might even make the mistake of telling someone.

But I don’t want to be judgmental. I want to be open. And really, isn’t that what Burning Man is all about? To be honest, I’m not sure. Even after reading the Fist Timer’s Guide, I still had no idea what this festival was actually about. So I moved on to their doctrine, The Ten Principles. I think the idea is to take these tenets at face value, but for some reason I couldn’t help reading the subtext. Here are each of the principles, and then my own interpretation of each.

Radical Inclusion
Anyone may be a part of Burning Man. We welcome and respect the stranger. No prerequisites exist for participation in our community.

Don’t blame us for who shows up. You knew you were going to be sharing the port-a-potties with them when you bought the ticket.

Gifting
Burning Man is devoted to acts of gift giving. The value of a gift is unconditional. Gifting does not contemplate a return or an exchange for something of equal value.

Everyone here is broke. If you have money, or anything of value, don’t expect to leave the desert with it. On the flip side, a hot 22-year-old will probably offer you a dusty oragami bird in exchange for your watch.

Decommodification
In order to preserve the spirit of gifting, our community seeks to create social environments that are unmediated by commercial sponsorships, transactions, or advertising. We stand ready to protect our culture from such exploitation. We resist the substitution of consumption for participatory experience.

We hate that we have to work for a living. Or that we might have to ask Red Bull to pay for a first-aid tent. So just know before you show up that there is no funding whatsoever. Like none. Like we can’t even believe we had the money to buy the lighter fluid.

Radical Self-reliance
Burning Man encourages the individual to discover, exercise and rely on his or her inner resources.

We doubt that it will come to the point where you have to filter and drink your own urine, but be prepared for it.

Radical Self-expression
Radical self-expression arises from the unique gifts of the individual. No one other than the individual or a collaborating group can determine its content. It is offered as a gift to others. In this spirit, the giver should respect the rights and liberties of the recipient.

No one will ever stop bothering you. Just as you start hooking up with the girl painted silver, here comes the futuristic clown band offering kazoos.

Communal Effort
Our community values creative cooperation and collaboration. We strive to produce, promote and protect social networks, public spaces, works of art, and methods of communication that support such interaction.

Be prepared to be enlisted in the building of, and test trials for, a human-throwing catapult.

Civic Responsibility
We value civil society. Community members who organize events should assume responsibility for public welfare and endeavor to communicate civic responsibilities to participants. They must also assume responsibility for conducting events in accordance with local, state and federal laws.

If you’re on meds, this is not the place to “cut back.” We want you to take them as if your psychiatrist were lashed to your waist. Because we can not afford security. If shit gets crazy, we’re screwed.

Leaving No Trace
Our community respects the environment. We are committed to leaving no physical trace of our activities wherever we gather. We clean up after ourselves and endeavor, whenever possible, to leave such places in a better state than when we found them.

You will need to eat your trash.

Participation
Our community is committed to a radically participatory ethic. We believe that transformative change, whether in the individual or in society, can occur only through the medium of deeply personal participation. We achieve being through doing. Everyone is invited to work. Everyone is invited to play. We make the world real through actions that open the heart.

We all want the orgy to happen, but it takes a village. Don’t kill the mood.

Immediacy
Immediate experience is, in many ways, the most important touchstone of value in our culture. We seek to overcome barriers that stand between us and a recognition of our inner selves, the reality of those around us, participation in society, and contact with a natural world exceeding human powers. No idea can substitute for this experience.

I have no idea what this last one means. Something about wizardry.

French acrobat with sun shaman - Burning Man Festival

All that said, I’m not opposed to seeing what this festival is about in real life. I would just prefer to do it on my terms. I asked my friend Lee, who is on his way to the desert as we speak, if I could maybe rent a hotel nearby and just come when they start shooting the flamethrowers.

“It doesn’t work like that, dude. You have to be there.”

“I would be there. Just down the road at the Sheraton.”

“It’s the desert, man. There aren’t any hotels nearby.”

“Well, how far away are they?”

“You’re not getting the point.”

“I don’t see why I can’t be the guy who does Burning Man, and has a hotel room. I’d be the dude with indoor plumbing. People like that dude.”

But Lee wasn’t giving in, so I asked him to take pictures on his iPhone and email them to me – to which he texted a reply:

“too much dust, keep my phone sealed in zip lock”

Oh, Lee. : ) Enjoy the desert.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 30th, 2011 at 9:37 am. It is filed under Blog, Current Events & Politics, Events, Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.